Dozens of Cousins

I have been told that everything is relative. I am beginning to believe it might be true. Related, connected, interwoven, whatever. The semantics aren’t as important as the idea; that all things lead to, come from, or belong with all other things. As basic as this: automobiles are related to dinosaurs are related to the oceans are related to the moon is related to romance is related to babies are related to car seats. See? We started with automobiles and ended with an auto accessory. But… on the way we went back in time, across the universe, deep into the human heart and behind God’s greatest achievement… creation.

No matter what faith or bias you use to justify your existence, you were created. Why? That’s relative too, right? I see folks every day that don’t know what purpose is, what their function COULD be. They only see what they are. Not what they are… for! Relativity seems to imply partnership. I’m not judgin’, I’m just sayin’. We have responsibilities to those we live, love, laugh and learn from, with or about. Starting to feel like a small world, yes? And I am only halfway done here (this article).

From the time I wake up every day to the minute I am allowed to enter the sanctuary of sleep, I think. Mostly about myself. But the best days I ever spend are the ones where I am not thinking about me. I am blessed to be reminded of other people, past and present, who are connected to me and everyone else. What do I owe these other people? How can my gifts become their betterment? How can their assets and tools assist me without me having to whine or beg for that help? Tough questions but simple answers really. I work and live and love every day. I laugh and cry every day. I’m serious, every day. By doing all of the above, I make myself available. To the universe, to growth, to experience, to people, to events… to opportunities. I give and so I get. When I get, I have to remember to give. Ok, first thought wrong: I wrote those clichéd words and I want to puke!! Blah-blah. Pay it forward. Recovery 101. Here comes my lunch! Splatt!!

As I return to the task here I am honored to have a voice, make a choice, lend a hand, take a stand, pay it back and stay on track. I receive all kinds of requests every week. Comedy work, speeches, workshops, appearances. I am grateful to be invited! But it is all relative to who I am and who I was and who I will become… every week. I have been performing for twenty years. Longer if you count dating, traffic stops and court appearances. But the show I do tonight is a culmination of all my nights prior to this one. How could my life not be connected to yours? You are reading this, so we interact here. What you do with what you read is your business, your truth. Mine is that I am grateful to be a part of something intimate but huge. Something unique but common. Anonymous but universal. Simple but intricate. See? Even the contrasts are connected! The paradox is the norm. I am starting to confuse myself so I am going to slow down and then stop this entirely.

We are relative to each other. Family! Normie or recovering person, he or she, child or adult. Enter your own contrast here. There are ties that bind us to one another and connections that liberate us from ourselves. I did not realize all of this when I was a newcomer in 1988. Nothing made sense. Too much fog and too little real substance. But something happened when I had a year sober. IT started to matter, THIS THING started to matter. At five years clean, I started to matter, ME. Around 8 or 9 years into recovery YOU started to matter. I have family all over this planet. I do not know most of them. Some I choose not to remember. Others I would kill to have back in my everyday life. But, like it or not, I don’t get to choose who I am related to. My family is chosen for me. The Universe has spoken. Every member is worthy, likeable, annoying, sensitive, bright, obnoxious, attractive, strong, humble, twisted, arrogant, kind and intelligent. Every member is lovable. What kind of love? How much love? Loveable? Everyone?! Really?!! Sure, but remember… love is a relative term. I love my son. I also love coffee. But I never confuse the two. I’m not going to put my boy in the microwave and I’m certainly not going to send a bag of beans to college. So… it’s all relative.

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